*sneeze*

12:24 AM.

Mood

stressed.

Well, I'll talk about the after prom later than I planned to. A few things have occupied my mind for the time being and are preventing me from recalling last night's events.

What things, in particular?

Well, I don't know exactly. Today around 9 something or so I felt really really upset and I was thinking a lot and started crying. It was strange. I've never been like that and felt so bad before for no reason whatsoever. It kinda scared me. I guess it was just one of my moods. Bah. My period must be coming. Or something like that. -.- I haven't cried like that for a while. :\ I haven't cried much anyway. But...whatever. I'm okay. Yeah. Billy's singing made me feel better. :)

Anyway....I'm going to bed. Night nights.

Bleh.

10:09 PM.

Mood	sad and somewhat bitter.
Music	Ayumi Hamasaki - Trauma.

So. I felt better today. Until I took a shower (about an hour ago) and started to feel upset again. ._. I don't know what it is, honestly I think it will be a relief in a way when I lose the internet because I won't be able to get online and be bored if Billy's not online to talk to and if I feel too awkward to IM anyone and have a lot of things to think about and stuff. :\ Plus I won't have to worry about this keyboard. Bleh. I know all that sounds awfully mean, I'm sorry.

I wish I actually had a good computer. Of my own. None of the computers I've really had were good, except this one. And now this one sucks. I want my own good computer. I want a nice laptop that actually has space and looks nice and won't screw up over time like mine did. But I guess I can't get everything I want, especially if I don't treat the things I have with such care that I can't actually have fun having them.

I almost feel like there's something missing inside me. I had it, but now I lost it. I don't know what it is. I think it's just my hormones messing with me before I get my period.

"Dolls" by Ayumi Hamasaki is very pretty.

"What are you thinking about now?
What can I do for you?

I will grow a beautiful flower
And offer it to you
I will grow a beautiful flower
And offer it to you

I will sing a song
And sing by your side
I will sing a song
And sing by your side"

Anyway, someone commented on my last entry...yes. I am aware that I haven't updated claimavocalist in a long time. It's on hiatus until I get a decent fucking computer thank you. Not meaning to get bitchy or angry, of course, I just get frustrated when I leave a message in there saying that I wouldn't be updating for a while because I have no time or patience to and people fucking claim DESPITE my attempts to inform them that I won't be updating. -.- I probably should delete it anyway. I'm losing the net the 31st if my mom doesn't decide to renew the yearly subscription to our ISP. ._. I don't necessarily want to hand it over to someone else though, because it'd require a lot of work and despite my frustration with the upkeep with the claims (nothing personal or anything) I still love it because it's one of my accomplishments and all, but if my mother decides not to renew our subscription, I might be forced to let any of you (my Blurty friends) volunteer to take care of it for a while or completely take over it for me. But I want to wait until she tells me for sure that we're not renewing it before I say anything.

..

...

....

Here it comes again. Stupid depression-sadness shit. I want to strangle it. I feel so sad and helpless. ._. Billy...come home and call me. Please. ;_;